Can I just say now how cranky hand carding makes me without a drum carder? The mere thought of it makes me extremely cranky.

The first week of high school has gone swimmingly for Josey. His school is amazing, and I was informed yesterday that he wants to play bass guitar. Bass. Rhythm is genetic, I’m sure I read that somewhere (or just made it up) so obviously he got all his good genes from me. Of course, general awesomeness is also genetic (citation needed) so that was from my side of the family too– I knew my baby was too smart to be a drummer.

Deb from Come Yarn Over left a message for me asking if I could make my little sheep with tape measures inside as customers were asking for some. I haven’t called her back yet. First because I wanted to get a tape measure and see if it was possible (it is) and second because I wanted to blog about it.

This is the difference between men and women. Women think it’s a super cute idea and want to know if it’s doable, and if it is what kind of variations are possible. I’m going to paint with a broad brush here but in general crafty women get cerebral about design and want to help troubleshoot.

Men on the other hand (crafty or otherwise) overwhelmingly turn into immature little boys that think all things potentially butt-hole  related are fascinating and immediately suggest that the fob for the tape measure should come out of the sheep’s butt. This idea is generally hilarious to the men folk, and they think it awesome and good. I have no idea why but every single man that has heard about (prior to my prototype) or seen (post prototype) the sheep tape measure project has insisted that the tape should come out the sheep’s ass.

Here’s the deal fellows, if you want a tape measure to come out a sheep’s ass then you can order one ($9 + shipping) from me special. Email me. Otherwise they are going to be nice and not have anything come out the ass.

My singles from the dyed roving are coming out a little fuzzier than I’d hoped. I’m  adding a little extra twist for a harder more defined yarn. Sometimes dying does a little to correct the texture, this time that was not the case– I’m sure I’ll live through it. Pretty sure at least.

Today is Josey’s first day of high school. I think I can say with some certainty that he’s taking the transition from home-schooling to high school better than I am. Pretty much any casual observer could say that, since I’m the one freaking out and he was (as usual) all not freaking out.

I fed him this morning and although he likes the little freeze dried bloodworms he told me (and I quote) “I’m so sick of these motherf*cking flakes in this motherf*cking tank.”

Lots of attitude, movie aficionado, lean mean meme machine. Itchy is my kind of fish.

In addition to Itchy I also put in a fiber order with Little Barn again. This is the first time in practically forever that I’ve been able to buy a significant amount of spinning fiber and I’m pretty antsy because it’s being shipped UPS ground from Alabama to Oregon.

I have plowed through the last of the white BFL making a three ply worsted weight on my wheel.

It’s a frustrating balance, I sold my drum carder on the cheap to a lady taking up felting so that I wouldn’t be tempted to put off purchasing a new better drum carder and to clear out enough space to house a new better drum carder. Of course, things happened and the money for the new better drum carder never magically appeared. (Well, sorta– it did actually but I spent it on bills and food for the children and practical things.) So the things I normally look forward to doing when I get new and unusual (at least to me) fibers are off the table at the moment.

Oh yeah, I could totally blend fibers with my hand cards– except that would require me to actually try to match rolags, and then there’s that whole using hand cards. It’s one of those labor equations that comes down to investing money or suffering, I’m one of those people that prefers to invest the money and skip the suffering.

Lexi made two egg heads but she’s refused to allow me to photograph them because she wants to post them on her blog.

For some reason I thought this project would be a little more involved than it actually was. Eggmond’s collar is a bit of cardboard tube scavenged from an aluminum foil box, connected with white glue. I drew his face on using sharpie marker. Then we filled his head with potting soil and topped it off with a sprinkle of wheat grass grain (which are just starting to sprout.)

I’m growing quite fond of Eggmond.

Physical symptoms of the flu aside, I get this antsy feeling because I’m not doing anything other than taking periodic swigs of cough syrup and popping ibuprofin along with minimal housekeeping duties. I know myself well enough to know that I am not in the right state of mind to start any projects.

However this self knowledge didn’t stop me from trimming Josey’s hair, and giving Lexi a touch of color.

Isn’t she just the cutest?

I think it turned out well.

Alexanne seems pleased with her new look. She told me that she looks like a rock star now and she wants a motorcycle. I told her to reign in that inner diva and that I don’t think anyone makes a motorcycle with training wheels. The conversation ended well enough, although Lexi made it clear that she was not amused by my flippant attitude.

This is not just an amusement park. There are rides, but the main attractions are fairytale and western themed walk throughs, mazes, tunnels, and slides and tons to see so the kids actually end up quite tuckered out after a few hours of running around, crawling through the rabbit hole, and exploring.

What have I done with the real me? Obviously, I am not me. I just can’t be.

Look at my poor dog. Georgia knows that I’ve been taken over by some alien life form that is controlling my central nervous system and it makes her sad.

She is overwhelmed by the responsibility of saving me (and the rest of humanity) from a sinister force that sends out parasitic drones to pull us down into the hive mind.

Or, she’s just enjoying the remaining bits of residual butt heat from my husband’s chair.

I can’t tell.

Black Coffee sock yarn is officially finished. So mood controlling alien parasites can’t be all that bad.

Right?

It’s not like my theoretical mind controlling alien parasite is making me listen to Phil Collins or Kenny G. Or making me read Altas Shrugged, or design handbags from human skin (you know, things that are *truly* evil.)

I bought some vitamin and mineral supplement for Greta and Georgia, and because it’s liquid the dosage is doled out in teaspoons. 1 teaspoon per 10 pounds of body weight.

Because in my former life I was a bartender I know that one ounce is one shot, and a shot holds 6 teaspoons. So really each of my dogs should be getting two shooters a day, which is far easier and faster than trying to accurately measure out 12 teaspoons. Right?

I feel so clever. The only problem is that I’ve packed away the glasses somewhere and I’m not sure which box would actually contain the shotglasses. Why did I not write the contents of each box on the outside of the boxes? Cleverness gone.

On the  bright side I did find a dosage cup conveniently attached to an unopened bottle of cough syrup. I’m clever again! At least I think I’ll be clever until I need to take some cough syrup.

I also bought Greta a nice huge thigh bone at the animal supply store, she’s in heaven.

Greta deserves a treat for being my helper today. While I was sorting and storing fabrics today she kept me company, and when I felt compelled to iron she faithfully kept the cats away from the ironing  board.

Housework is always nicer when I have company.

That man, you know the one; he’s about 6 foot, lean, nice strong features, and wears a wedding ring that matches mine claims to know nothing about the missing ball winder. I think he’s involved with the crime, but he refused to break during the course of interrogation so I was forced to let him go.

The yarn-winder is obviously some place where I have not yet thought to look.

I can’t go on like this so I’ve ordered a new one. A better one. Well, hopefully it’s an upgrade from the old one. The first one was an ordinary table top ball winder that claimed to make 4 oz balls of yarn (average wool yarn was between 3.25-3.75 ounces before the ball exceeded the capacity of the winder) and did a wobbly dancy thing while the yarn guide was stationary. The new one is an inline ball winder, where the yarn guide moves– it also claims to create 4 ounces.

Anyone have any experience with the inline kind? (I know, kinda late to ask since I already ordered it) Amazon claims I’ll see it somewhere between February 6 and 11.